#text: daria

[laurynhayward]

text || @dariarutherford

Lauryn: i think i have to genuinely thank you, girl, because i'm minorly obsessed with the newest addition to your menu and it's been keeping me sane practically all week. Lauryn: i even had the idea of buying an extra one and giving it to one of the hospital's ruder patients the other day and it worked like a charm! hardly any complaints from him for the rest of my shift!

[jacksonrose]

text ✉️ jackson & daria

Jackson: so i just found out they put austin powers back on netflix. you know how long it's been since i've watched those movies? i'm thinking this needs to be a thing now because who doesn't love austin? watch party?

[matt-schue]

Matt: Identical strangers?? You mean they were separated at birth and didn't know about the other's existence? Or are they not related?! Matt: Yellowjackets! It's crazy as a shit story, but damn, that show is GOOD! If you're into dark shows, I recommend watching it a whirl. Matt: Think my thing is not mixing them up by their looks but by their names, if that makes sense. I'll blank and be like, oh! That's Margot Robbie even though it's actually Jaime Pressly (while watching My Name is Earl or Not Another Teen Movie) Matt: What's your comfort sitcom? Talking about one you've seen countless times, can tune in randomly, and know the storyline within ten seconds. Matt: What did you wind up doing long Halloween? I kept at the station. We set up a spot in front of the truck and passed out candy. Full-size bars!😁 Matt: I'm bummed Halloween's gone. I like the lead-up to that holiday.

Daria: yeah, they definitely have some twin hijinks, especially since in their movie they're actually identical strangers. it's got a parent trap vibe, but with that unique twist on it for sure. Daria: wait... what were elijah wood and christina ricci in together? Daria: oh I don't mix them up usually.. just thought the old timey doppelgänger looked more like one than the other. though I can see the similarities in both their features, so I get why you'd get them mixed up. Daria: um, I like the romcom genre, hallmark movies are usually on during christmas season along with the classics for the holiday, comedy in general usually, depending on the type of comedy I guess. sitcoms, dramedy, that sort of thing I suppose. Daria: I haven't decided if I want to close early to hand out candy at home or keep the cafe open an hour later and just have a table of goodies for the kiddos for free. you three going trick or treating? I won't judge, personally I don't think there should be an age limit on it so long as you're having fun and not vandalizing the neighborhood, you know?

[uselessalexis165]

i’m being fed

[sicksadmayhem]

Daria and Jane dating would have been the best representation. The lesbians would be so powerful.

[love-hold]

want to re-live some of the top moments from the wta 2024 season?

(all mentioned events from my wta poll)

1) blinkova v rybakina

so a second round match at the australian open, nothing out of the ordinary. rybakina, a slam favorite fresh after winning brisbane, is playing blinkova, unseeded. on paper, it should just be a straightforward match, right?

wrong. elena and anna gave us a 42 point tiebreak. 22-20: this was the longest tiebreak in grand slam history. elena saved 10 match points, anna saved 6. it took 30 mins. apparently in the same timeframe, ostapenko went 5-0 up during her match. if you have time, watch it now!

2) danielle collins versus everyone

2024 was a great year for danielle collins. she’s in no way a newcomer to the tour, in fact she announced that 2024 was her retirement year and as it happens, her record title year. she won miami. she took charleston. she had a 13 match winning streak. and she also stayed true to her no BS attitude.

from shutting down the press who questioned her plans for retirement, to challenging hecklers in the crowd, to just telling the truth as it is, danYELL “danimal” collins was a breath of fresh air. stan or dislike, we can all agree that she’s real and isn’t afraid at confrontation, and i personally admire that. oh and btw, even if she didn’t retire like she planned: she has every right to.

3) jelena ostapenko

jelena ostapenko is a player that some people hate due to her bratty, unsportsmanlike behavior and some people love because she’s incredibly intriguing. her on-court reactions constitute a highlight reel of their own (don’t get me started on her line calls) but i’ll just mention two: jelena ostapenko signaling to her box which team member has to leave and jelena ostapenko hitting a first serve at eastbourne during her match against boulter. enjoy!

4) naomi osaka’s post round 1 presser

the narratives of naomiga are a discussion of it’s own. i wonder what could’ve been if she didn’t draw iga: this is clay, naomi’s least favorite surface and this is clay, iga’s favorite surface and they played an absolutely insane match with naomi getting some chances, actually a chance—okay i’m getting off topic. enjoy this short clip of naomi’s press conference about her first round.

5) coco gauff and double faults: a love story

to a non-coco gauff fan, coco and her doubt fault percentage is objectively hilarious. as a coco gauff fan, coco and her doubt fault percentage makes me want to tear my hair out. tyler the creator really should’ve done some mild research before he associated coco with a stellar serve. her serving issue was year long but enjoy these three screenshots of mine i found in my camera roll.

6) qinwemma at the olympics

based on the poll, a majority feel that qinwen-emma gate was the most memorable moment of the season and i have to agree. this drama was so incredibly jaw dropping because where on earth did this come from? how was this hate warranted?? qinwen was quite literally minding her own business and suddenly she’s getting attacked? getting called cutthroat? and what do you mean these two have history? qinwen’s reaction to this all is the best part:

“i will not consider it an attack because she lost the match”.

PLEASEEEE, she truly dgaf. and that gold medal is an iconic slap in the face: sorry emma!

7) “why tf are you speaking italian”

thank god elena dropped vukov. for a little bit of context: he yelled “andiamo” at her and i believe this was her semis match against jasmine during rg. not completely sure but that makes it even funnier. why are you encouraging her opponent?

(during my search for this clip, i also found this iconic clip of errani/cornet. similar situation, enjoy!)

8) aryna the tiktok queen

aryna sabalenka knows how to use socmed well. i absolutely adore her videos that involve her team: they look like such a close family and i want in! and the wta finals tiktok (although not technically hers) was such a great way to stunt on the atp and their mismatched suits. absolutely no one is doing it like them.

9) mirra andreeva and daria kasatkina

watch dasha and natasha’s what the vlogs on youtube everyone! it’s such a great way to see the WTA when their marketing is obviously lacking, and each video is treated with so much care. hour long vids practically every tournament!!

mirra and dasha’s relationship was definitely one of my favorite parts of the year. her segments w/ mirra are always adorable (see below: mirra eating cucumbers, mirra sharing her olympics experience, mirra stealing every stuffed toy, mirra refusing to comment on her mixed doubles experience with meddy). and after their dramatic and emotional ningbo final (which involved mirra getting bageled and a post-match hug), mirra’s insta post made me laugh out loud in the middle of class.

10) yulia putinseva

this literally got 0 votes and i have to agree. putinseva’s treatment of ball kids this year was…memorable to put it lightly. all i have to say is this: she’s an adult and she can handle frustration without taking it out on the ball kids. leave them alone. (bonus clip i found on r/tennis when i was trying to find the clip)

11) zheng qinwen at the WTA finals

our cutthroat, gold medalist, tennis queen is also a vogue model that never fails to serve. although she lost the WTA final, at least she got to enjoy the confetti?

what a year. and there’s more that i missed! let’s see how many more i make during the off-season.

(also. me versus my defective blog organization 0:1 )

[charlierhodes]

Charlie: you actually nailed it on the vanilla, funny enough. call me basic or whatever, but it's just such a great scent. my favorite is the warm vanilla sugar from bath and body works. Charlie: Plus, vanilla's timeless. It's like the little black dress of scents—never goes out of style. Charlie: and thank you for the compliment! maybe i can work that sunshine comment in my bio -- though i think you might be a little biased considering i visit your cafe literally every day for my daily caffeine intake Charlie: speaking of, congrats on the rebrand! how's that going for you?

Daria: you smell like pine needles and you have a face like sunshine! Daria: okay maybe not the first part, you're probably more of a vanilla scent if I had to guess, I've never taken the time to smell you when you're in. but you do have a face like sunshine that can light up a room!

[ssecond-hand-faith]

Hi, I’m Daria. Go to hell

Cringetober Day Twenty Three: Adult Cartoon

It won’t work, my face is too expressive.

[liquidstar]

and now for something stupid

[dailycrippledcharacters]

Duke (Vampair)

[Image Description: From the official web series. Duke, a male vampire with white skin and red eyes. He has a black beard. He is wearing a black hat and cape and a gray shirt. His ears and nose are pointed. He is glaring down at an envelope in his hand. The drawing is in black and white. End ID.]

Duke is an amputee.

[dariarutherford]

Daria: I think that depends on if you can find a place open for them to pick up the food. also pretty sure it's like against policy for them to go in your house Daria: too bad you don't have like a drone they could hook it to and then you could fly it up through your window. or just open your window and have the instructions be for them to throw it in your window? Daria: idk.. I own a lot of blankets Daria: girl you know i'm always there with an ego boost for anyone who needs one

Lottie: Booo. Fine. I get it. I guess.

Lottie: I wonder if I can UberEats myself something to eat, and just have them bring it to my bed so I don’t have to get up. 👀😂

Lottie: Why’s your bed look comfier than mine, though? 😭

Lottie: You best not stop flirting with me. A girl needs an ego boost from time to time.

[nick-duval]

text 💪 @dariarutherford

Nick: Out of curiosity, do you need an extra pair of hands or anything for the cafe reno? I’m shit at interior design, but I can haul furniture with the best of ‘em, feel free to put me to work, 🫡

[holdoncallfailed]

tbh as an adult daria herself is borderline intolerable but i love jane sooooo much that i can deal with it

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 74

Harley: I hate being an academic, they're making me write shit. I thought I was just supposed to sit in an old chair, smoke, and say something French every now and then.

Selina, reading a magazine: "Thin thighs for yor man." But I don't like men with thin thighs.

Damian: And Brown?

Steph: Yeah?

Damian: About this whole "am I pretty" thing- which I still think is stupid- but I just wanna say, I like looking at you.

Damian: I think, you know, your face holes are in really good spots. And if you're not pretty, then I don't know what is.

Steph: Thanks, Damian.

[djdomberry]

Dom: exactly! see, you get it. i mean, i'll admit there's always been a nagging voice in my head that wonders if i just passed up on the right person every time things seem like they're getting serious with someone and i freak out, which usually leads to us breaking up, but like... damn it! i said i wasn't gonna go into it! Dom: get it, girl! get on out there and get yourself someone to spend the big day with! honestly wouldn't mind that myself since i have been single for a while. Dom: don't tempt me! i would absolutely do it and be your wingman if you really wanted me to. i got you, d!

Daria: okay I'll let it go then, that makes sense. live your life while you can and play the field a bit to make sure that when you settle down it's the right person. Daria: yeah I think I gotta blame the big holiday coming up tbh. valentine's is my favorite and it'd be nice to have someone to spend it with. maybe just maybe I'll work a little more at putting myself, get myself a lil something something to snuggle up with. Daria: glad I have you as my own personal hypeman then 😜 wanna come hang around the cafe to help me get that valentine's date? loljk

[oldmanffucker]

yo….modern au Ed and Izzy being so Daria and Jane coded in their youth…….::….. people going “okay Daria” when they went all angst mode in high school (both of them being like well actually I’m Trent but that’s a realization for college)